THE EXISTENTIAL HEXAGON OF RESILIENCE

Existential resilience is the part of resilience that connects your life to a sense of meaning. It is the emotional architecture you stand on. When it holds, life feels clearer and more possible. When it cracks, even small challenges start to feel heavier. Existential resilience is not about grand life missions or dramatic purpose statements. It is about alignment, contribution and direction. It is the quiet sense that your life fits you and that your efforts matter.

There are three parts to this domain. Coherence, Contribution and Connection, and Direction and Meaning. Together they shape how grounded you feel, how motivated you are and how well you recover when life becomes uncertain or demanding.

Coherence

Coherence is the feeling that your life matches what matters to you.

It is the sense that your actions, your choices and your daily behaviour reflect your values rather than contradict them. When your life feels coherent there is a natural steadiness that supports everything else. Your nervous system settles. Your emotions soften. You feel more like yourself.

When your life drifts out of alignment it becomes heavier and strangely hollow. You may be performing well on the outside while feeling disconnected on the inside. This can happen when you stay silent when something matters, or when you compromise too often, or when you act in ways that do not reflect who you want to be. These small misalignments build up over time and create friction that shows up as frustration, confusion or a general sense that something is off.

Coherence is not about perfection. It is about being able to look at your life and recognise yourself in it. When your values and your actions match you feel grounded. When they do not you feel unstable. Even small acts of alignment make a meaningful difference. Saying what you mean, honouring your limits, acting with honesty, keeping a promise to yourself, or taking a small step that reflects your values all strengthen coherence.

Biologically this shows up as well. Dopamine rises when your actions match your internal values. Serotonin increases when life feels stable and congruent. Oxytocin grows when your relationships feel authentic rather than forced. Endorphins increase when the tension of self betrayal reduces. Coherence literally feels better because your brain rewards alignment.

The central idea here is simple. Does my life reflect what matters to me. Even a small adjustment in this direction strengthens your resilience.

Contribution and Connection

Contribution and Connection is the part of purpose that grows through others. Humans find meaning not only in achievement but in mattering. We feel a stronger sense of purpose when our presence makes a difference to someone else. This does not have to be dramatic or heroic. It might be mentoring a colleague, supporting a friend, caring for a child, creating something useful, teaching, helping or simply being someone reliable. Purpose expands when your life touches others in ways that feel meaningful.

These contributions deepen your sense of connection. They remind you that you are part of something larger than yourself. When you feel connected to others through shared meaning, shared effort or shared experience your resilience increases. You recover faster from setbacks because you are not carrying everything alone. You also feel more motivated, more anchored and more willing to keep going when difficulties rise.

Connection also supports emotional stability. When you feel trusted, respected or valued your nervous system relaxes. When you feel isolated or disconnected everything becomes harder. Contribution is not only about what you give. It is about the sense of belonging and identity that comes from being part of other people’s lives in a meaningful way.

Biology reinforces this. Oxytocin increases when relationships feel warm and supportive. Serotonin rises when you feel valued and included. Dopamine increases when you make a difference and see the impact. Endorphins increase through warmth, laughter and shared moments. Contribution and connection support resilience not just psychologically but chemically as well.

The guiding question here is. Who benefits when I show up as my best self. Purpose becomes clearer when you look at the ripples you create in other people’s lives.

Direction and Meaning

Direction and Meaning is the part of purpose that changes over time. Your reasons for getting up in the morning shift as life shifts. Sometimes your purpose is raising a child. Sometimes it is building a career or protecting your health. Sometimes it is caring for a parent, rebuilding after loss or simply getting through the day with dignity. Purpose is not fixed. It evolves.

When purpose becomes outdated or unrealistic you feel stuck, disconnected or frustrated. You may cling to an old identity that no longer fits or hold yourself to standards that belonged to a previous stage of life. Recognising that your purpose has changed is a form of resilience because it allows you to move with life rather than against it.

Direction becomes clearer when you ask what matters in this season of life and what small steps move you closer to it. These steps do not need to be dramatic. They only need to be honest. When you acknowledge your current direction you reduce internal conflict. You also regain motivation because your efforts start to make sense again.

The biology behind this is simple. Dopamine increases when you pursue meaningful goals that fit your current life. Serotonin stabilises when your expectations match your reality rather than an outdated version of yourself. Oxytocin rises when your current purpose involves care or connection. Endorphins support you during transitions, grief or rebuilding. Purpose shifts and your chemistry shifts with it.

The essential question is. What matters to me now. Purpose becomes lighter and more possible when you honour the season you are in.

Bringing These Three Together

Coherence, Contribution and Connection, and Direction and Meaning create the foundation of existential resilience. When your life aligns with your values, when your presence matters to others and when your direction fits your current reality you feel grounded. You feel capable. You respond to challenges with more clarity and recover from difficulties with more ease.

Existential resilience is not about perfect purpose. It is about honest purpose. It is about noticing where your life feels true and where it feels off. It is about small steps that bring your life closer to what matters. These shifts influence your thoughts, your emotions and your biology. They help you stay steady when life becomes uncertain and they help you reconnect with meaning when things are difficult.

Purpose is not something you find once. It is something you shape as your life unfolds. When you honour your values, support others and recognise what matters now you strengthen the deepest layer of resilience.

This content was compiled by David Yates and edited for this blog by Duncan Maddox. Any mistakes in content, grammar or formatting are entirely mine (Duncan).